Story time

billiamswheatdown:

blacksparkproject:

My father once told me to get milk for his coffee and I came in it. I thought he would like cum its creamier.

He grounded me. I jerked off that entire weekend.

The moral of this story is I was raised by a ungrateful man.

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enemaroberts:

her presence just gets dads attention 

"I’ve found that growing up means being honest. About what I want. What I need. What I feel. Who I am."

— (via laughterlovelanny)

"It’s kinda sad isn’t it?
That someone could hurt you so much that you have to write about it."

— July 7th (via demorxlise)

oomshi:

dongboarding:

oomshi:

eat my ass

My mom said I had to eat my vegetables first

I respect that

thatsabingo:

So I follow my aunties on pintrest for like sharing recipes and stuff but today one of them posted this gif:

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and they’re all commenting like “the perfect man” and “what all women want ;)” and stuff like that

And I’m over here laughing my ass off because that’s gay porn star, Austin Wolf. This gif is from a gay porno. Like, literally 5 seconds after this moment, he has a cock in his mouth.